Random Thoughts While Living Another Day in Anonymity:

Do you think we could expand the ‘no talking on the cell phone while driving’ law to include a clause that states ‘no talking on the cell phone while doing anything’? As I was driving home, I observed an Illinois state construction employee talking on his cell phone while operating a 140 pound jackhammer. Does this seem to be wise? Is this what our state taxes are paying for? I’m just saying..

The Clock is Ticking:

According to news reports, the creator of the hit TV show ‘24′ doesn’t believe Hilary Clinton will make a good president. Joel Surnow asked reporters over the weekend, according to a published Washington Post article, if they are ‘nuts thinking that Hilary Clinton could be president of this country.’

He said this while balancing upside down on a wire, defusing a bomb, and shooting terrorists with his left hand. All of which is completely believable and definitely not nuts.

Global Warming is a Myth:

Today the temperature hit a balmy 62 degrees in the city of Chicago. I am sure glad that global warming thing has gone away!

Match Made In Heaven:

In another case of ‘what?’, a new Hollywood power couple appears to be emerging. Ashely Olsen (of Full House fame) and Lance Armstrong. Lets compare their contributions to society:

Ashley starred on “Full House,” performed in 12 straight to video movies with her sister Mary Kate, had a roles in several feature files, and took control of the production company Dualstar with her sister when they both turned 18. Since turning 18 she has does absolutely nothing productive with her time. She has also been linked to a drug scandal and was criticized for dating Scott Sartiano because of the 9-year age difference.

Lance won the Tour de France seven consecutive times, battled brain, lung and testicular cancer, and founded one of the most storied philanthropic organizations, the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which is famous for its Livestrong bracelets. The foundation has raised more than $60 million for cancer research.

A match made in heaven.

Don’t Tase Me Bro!:

Headline: ‘Wisconsin Cop Shocked by Own Taser‘

The police officer was reprimanded for - shocking himself.

Happy Birthday: Whoopi Goldberg